In my friend group, all the dads are the cooks. My husband does all the cooking and grocery shopping. When we have friends over, I usually look around and notice the men are in the kitchen cooking and I am sitting on the couch chatting with my lady friends, and watching children. It's pretty great.
Hurray for these engaged dads! I am delighted to see dads pushing strollers and watching their children in the park, and to hear about sharing household responsibilities.
One thing that saddens me immensely is also seeing many dads, as well as moms looking at their cell phones while pushing a stroller, while their little ones play, and while at restaurants for a supposed family meal. Sometimes the whole family is looking at their cell phones. Who knows how much screen time is happening at home. It won't really matter whether it's mom or dad at home if relationships aren't being nurtured.
My best wishes to families who want to parent thoughtfully in the ever present technology surrounding us!
Yes, the phones are a menace! As someone who lives thousands of miles away from her nephew, though, and adores Facetiming with him, I'm also thankful for them. But you're right that they make disengaged parenting a whole lot easier.
I am a dad who quit my longtime job for pandemic-unrelated reasons in early 2020, and except for one year long stint, never went back to full time work. I have definitely spent way more time with my son over these past six years than before, so I am part of this statistical shift.
I hesitate to generalize from my own experience, because I am absurdly lucky, in that my prior job was so lucrative that my household no longer needs my income to sustain our lifestyle. But I speculate that the forced bonding of the pandemic worked a little like the forced bonding of war or other great adversity. I know I felt far closer to both my wife and son because of having endured the restrictions of that time together, and that plus the reminder of the fragility of life motivated me to maximize quality time with my son before he grew up and got tired of me!
Oh, that's a good theory! It's kind of like the reverse of the divorce trend. I have no idea if this is reflected in the data, but anecdotally, I heard of a lot of couples getting divorced during the pandemic—and conversely, some tying the knot—because of all the forced time together. It makes sense that something similar could happen with the parent-child bond. - Emma
I would tend to agree and I think the effect lingers and applies even if you didn't have a kid during the pandemic. My wife and I delayed having a kid because of COVID and when we finally had our daughter in 2023 we had weathered the storm and grown closer from all the time together. We also put down more roots in our community and we developed hobbies together like gardening. I have a more flexible job than my wife (part-time lecturer) so I end up doing more child care - I genuinely enjoy it. As more research shows that any caregiver, regardless of gender or genetics, can develop deep bonds with a child, it kind of destroys the idea that only the mom can be a primary caregiver. I have chatted with numerous friends about how hard it is to have both parents pushing hard on career. We need to develop more optionality in work so that families can have one full-time working parent and one part-time working parent, it works but there are not so many good, part-time jobs.
In my friend group, all the dads are the cooks. My husband does all the cooking and grocery shopping. When we have friends over, I usually look around and notice the men are in the kitchen cooking and I am sitting on the couch chatting with my lady friends, and watching children. It's pretty great.
Hey! Progress! Love to hear it. My boyfriend does all the cooking as well. In fact, I'm banned from the kitchen. - Emma
Hurray for these engaged dads! I am delighted to see dads pushing strollers and watching their children in the park, and to hear about sharing household responsibilities.
One thing that saddens me immensely is also seeing many dads, as well as moms looking at their cell phones while pushing a stroller, while their little ones play, and while at restaurants for a supposed family meal. Sometimes the whole family is looking at their cell phones. Who knows how much screen time is happening at home. It won't really matter whether it's mom or dad at home if relationships aren't being nurtured.
My best wishes to families who want to parent thoughtfully in the ever present technology surrounding us!
Nancy N. Vancouver, B.C.
Yes, the phones are a menace! As someone who lives thousands of miles away from her nephew, though, and adores Facetiming with him, I'm also thankful for them. But you're right that they make disengaged parenting a whole lot easier.
I am a dad who quit my longtime job for pandemic-unrelated reasons in early 2020, and except for one year long stint, never went back to full time work. I have definitely spent way more time with my son over these past six years than before, so I am part of this statistical shift.
I hesitate to generalize from my own experience, because I am absurdly lucky, in that my prior job was so lucrative that my household no longer needs my income to sustain our lifestyle. But I speculate that the forced bonding of the pandemic worked a little like the forced bonding of war or other great adversity. I know I felt far closer to both my wife and son because of having endured the restrictions of that time together, and that plus the reminder of the fragility of life motivated me to maximize quality time with my son before he grew up and got tired of me!
Oh, that's a good theory! It's kind of like the reverse of the divorce trend. I have no idea if this is reflected in the data, but anecdotally, I heard of a lot of couples getting divorced during the pandemic—and conversely, some tying the knot—because of all the forced time together. It makes sense that something similar could happen with the parent-child bond. - Emma
I would tend to agree and I think the effect lingers and applies even if you didn't have a kid during the pandemic. My wife and I delayed having a kid because of COVID and when we finally had our daughter in 2023 we had weathered the storm and grown closer from all the time together. We also put down more roots in our community and we developed hobbies together like gardening. I have a more flexible job than my wife (part-time lecturer) so I end up doing more child care - I genuinely enjoy it. As more research shows that any caregiver, regardless of gender or genetics, can develop deep bonds with a child, it kind of destroys the idea that only the mom can be a primary caregiver. I have chatted with numerous friends about how hard it is to have both parents pushing hard on career. We need to develop more optionality in work so that families can have one full-time working parent and one part-time working parent, it works but there are not so many good, part-time jobs.
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Our pleasure!